Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Mi Amor

I remember looking at you, and thinking you held the stars- the universe, in your eyes. Those eyes will forever be imbedded in the back of my mind. I remember you were the first boy to ever tell me I was beautiful, and I will always cherish you for those exquisite words. You made me listen to old Beatles songs, really listen, and I felt like I was hearing the music for the first time. We were never defined by any sort of stuffy label, if anything we were friends at best. I didn't love you, I haven't had the pleasure of real, heart breaking love yet. Love wasn't what made you special, it was the singular fact that you listened. Never once batted an eye when haunting memories bubbled from my lips, you only bounced back with a secret of your own. They say good things never last, and in time people change. Like a pebble being dropped in the porcelain smooth river, you drifted away like a ripple, farther and farther until you were just gone. I realize now that the time we spent together was beautiful and innocent- raw. I smile to myself when I hear the stir of John Lennons voice, thinking of you. I don't regret a second of my past, you included. As I grow, people run in and out of my life, helping me evolve into the person I'm supposed to be. You made me an honest person, made me feel beautiful even when my head and heart thought differently. For that, I have you stashed away at the back of my mind, popping in and out whenever you feel like it. I always wanted to say this to you, that can be the only explanation for this over drawn letter. The idea sparked from a single moment, 'Strawberry Fields' filtering from my speakers, and suddenly- I see your eyes.

Saturday, May 3, 2014

I Survived Psychotic Mood-Swing Disorder

This is too much information. This may be uncomfortable for some, but this needs to be addressed. Every month, women go through a week or so of PURE HELL. I don't think men realize the disturbing things that go on when women endure PMS, or what I like to call: Psychotic Mood-Swing Disorder. Here is a list of things that happened today while I suffered from PMS. These are all actual events, none of which have been fictionalized. The only reason I am sharing this risque information with you is to put into perspective how a woman acts and feels when WWIII is happening in her uterus.
  • I found a Dorito in my bed. I then ate said Dorito. It was a crumb from earlier munching, so don't get it twisted that I ate a random chip I found in my bed....
  • I blubbered like a baby because Dairy Queen gave me a Midnight Truffle Blizzard instead of my Cookie Dough Blizzard.
  • I cried again because the Midnight Truffle Blizzard was SO DAMN GOOD, and it felt like a betrayal to my number one boo- Cookie Dough. 
  • I converted my room into a cave of sorts, pitch black with four different scented candles burning. It was overpowering and it smelled like Bath and Body Works vomited in my room.
  • I watched episode after episode of New Girl, and laughed even when nothing remotely funny was happening.
  • I sat through an entire indie movie that was pure garbage, but I couldn't change it. Why? I needed to know if the rather ugly main character got with the girl who was way out of his league. THEY DIDN'T MAKE IT, AND I CRIED BECAUSE MY OVARIES ARE GOING HAYWIRE.
  • I sang a plethora of sad songs in the shower, and didn't even care that my dad was in the next room- judging me. 
  • I can't stop eating. 
    • Pickles? Sure.
    • Half bag of Doritos? Absolutely. 
    • Ice cream? Is that even a question? 
    • Cheese? Cheese is what makes the world go round, so yeah- I ate a lot of cheese.
  • My face resembles the bumpy surface of Mars- so much acne. Why not break out so bad I look like I'm fourteen and still have head gear? Why not relive my wonderful high school years where I couldn't even speak actual words to a person of the opposite sex? I love this...
  • 'Mean' doesn't even begin to describe how I've been the past 24 hours. Anyone who's interacted with me today got bitched out because I can't control my emotions and I just wanted a cookie. 
  • I slapped a donut out of my sisters hand. Yeah, you read that right. Straight up punched that pastry across the room. I don't know what came over me, but I slapped that donut so vigorously it exploded into a million pieces. It was a 'did that really just happen?' moment, and my God do I regret it. 
  • I hit my little brother Cole in the butt, and I don't even know why. It was creepy, and I really am starting to revaluate my life choices.
Most of all, I feel like a beached whale with severe acne and an anger problem. This isn't living. No, this is hell on Earth. This my friends, is PMS.