Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Girls Just Want to Have Fun- When They Turn 21

This past weekend was my initiation into what most Americans would call "adulthood", or for a less prestigious description: my 21st birthday. Ah yes, nothing like embarrassing yourself in public while consuming unsavory amounts of booze and greasy bar food. My 21st could be considered tame compared to the classic drunk movies like "The Hangover" or "Project X"- although I wouldn't mind waking up to a tiger in my room for it would fulfill my dream of becoming Princess Jasmine from Aladdin. Even though I didn't wake up next to Bradley Cooper (I wish) or throw up in the streets of Downtown Omaha (thank you Lord Baby Jesus), I still had quite the adventurous weekend. But instead of writing a long blog post that could potentially put you to sleep, I decided to post photos- yes, photos. It's said that a picture speaks a thousand words, and I am going to present to you the ones that best embody my epic birthday endeavors. Before I begin, I would just like to say that some of these pictures are tragically embarrassing on my part and I am posting them for the entertainment of my readers. I'm so glad you all find my lack of social skills humorous- you're welcome. Now, let's begin.
Pretty self explanatory, I took this photo at 12:01 AM on Thursday February 20th. This is where the madness began.
Precursor to any night out, ESPECIALLY on my birthday is a selfie- duh.
What's a birthday party without birthday dessert? My aunt made the best 21st birthday cake I have ever seen. Don't even try and tell me that drunk Barbie isn't hilarious with her confetti barf and the lovely tramp stamp above her exposed thong. I died, it's perfect. 
Another essential component to my big day was being surrounded by my friends and family.  These are just a few snapshots taken from the two night extravaganza that was my birthday. These people laughed with me, laughed AT me, fed me shot after shot, and took horrific video footage of me singing One Direction in a public place. Never the less, it was these people that made me feel oh so special even when I felt oh so drunk.
Then I started getting drinks, and some shots, and a few more drinks, and a couple more shots...

The final photos are a public service announcement for the youth. I like to call it "The Progression of Getting Tanked". As you can see, in the first photo I am doing the duck face, typical white girl move. But that's how you can tell the alcohol is kicking in because I am a firm believer in the idea that Satan started this disgusting trend of pushing your lips out in an unsexy way- thus, the drunkness has begun. Then in the second photo, you can clearly see me being a HOT MESS. There was a point during the night where I could physically not keep my head up and my eyes open. I resembled someone who had recently got maced and couldn't open their eyes all the way. The final photo is what I like to call "Oh my God, you are so drunk you are sleeping at the bar and you don't even care that other humans are around judging you". Thankfully, that's where my night ended. I was safely brought home, force fed Mac'n'Cheese, and tucked in which I instantly passed out and most likely snored like a walrus.

On a final more serious note, this post was not meant to be a trashy expose on how I am a quality drinker (because as evidence has shown, I'm not). It's my way of poking fun at myself while letting everyone else in on the joke that is my drinking experience. I am in no way about this life, I was tired for about a week after this whole thing went down and the thought of any kind of vodka made me want to hurl. Although it was a good time, a glass of wine while watching Netflix is more my style. Until next time, I bid you all adieu.


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