Monday, December 16, 2013

Mind Boggle: A Day Inside My Head

December 16th, 2013

4:25 AM: Alarm is going off....Why do I work at Starbucks again? Oh, that's right! It's so I can wake up at the ass crack of dawn to serve bitchy women skinny lattes for a solid six hours. My bed is so warm, like a big ol' marshmallow. God, sleeping on a marshmallow would be sweet- pun intended. Let's look at my phone. A couple texts and yet another creepy Snapchat from that one guy who will NOT TAKE A HINT (if you're reading this, stop with the late night selfies. You're grody). If I want to make myself look like less of a troll, and more like a presentable hobo I have to get up.

5:25 AM: SHIT! I can't find my phone. It fell under my seat on the way here. Half my body is occupying the front seat, while the other half is flailing in the back of my car searching for my beloved iPhone. I'm having some serious wardrobe malfunctions, bad day not to wear a belt...

7:30ish AM: I take back what I said earlier, I love working here. My coworkers are just as weird as I am, and they accept that at one point in time I had an obsession with Pokemon and Barbies. I also really love my customers, especially my regulars. Today 'Trenta Unsweetened Black Iced Tea' (to protect my favorite peeps identity, their names will be their drinks) and I gossiped about Khloe Kardashian's recent divorce. 'Venti Caramel Latte' and I shared a very special girl moment when we bonded over our nail polish obsession, that woman is my spirit animal. Not to mention 'Venti Soy Latte', one of my all time favorite people. She greets me everyday with "Hey gorgeous!!", and she pulls off the hippy chic fashion oh so well. Today I was totes bringing in the dolla, dolla bills y'all! Who knew you could get paid being annoyingly perky?!

9:45 AM: Look lady, next time you wish to order 18 drinks in the drive thru, here's a tip: DON'T!

11 AM: Speeding home, have to make it to school on time for that final I will most likely fail. Contemplating showering....I smell like I bathed in a pot of fancy Ethiopian coffee. Could be a turn off, but my inner lazy bum doesn't really care. No shower it is. 

11:45 AM: How do famous people do it?!?! I attempt to do a messy bun because there is no need to unleash the hideous beast that is my hair right now, and it ends up just looking like a live squirrel kept refuge on top of my head. FML.

1:30 PM: Can't concentrate on studying for this final because the kid across the room has Ke$ha, Miley Cryus, and all kinds of Taylor Swift blasting from his headphones. The girl to my right and I share a mutual snort as we silently make fun of the guy with the unfortunate taste in music. 

2:35 PM: Ok, Hill. You studied so hard for this. I believe in you home girl! You are so smart, even when you look like a dirty street urchin. Seriously, you look butt ugly. But anyway, go kick some ass. 

3:05 PM: GOD WHYYYYYYY?!?!?!!?!? What the hell is the Southern Manifesto?!?!?! I don't even remember reading about that!!! Well, shit. Should probably just start my life as a prostitute now- a high end one of course. Have some respect for yourself....

3:30-5:30 PM: I really need to stop watching Awkward every time I come home.

5:30-6:30 PM: *Watches Vampire Diaries instead*

7:00 PM: Time to study for that last final. Lets turn on some jams. Pandora: John Mayer Station, duh.  

7:05 PM: Uhm excuse me, last time I checked Nickelback is in absolutely no relation to John Mayer. If I wanted to listen to them, I would have gone to the 'This Shit Sucks' station.

7:45 PM: About that studying....LOL yeah. Instead I wrote a blog post that maybe two people will read. Oh well, c'est la vie!

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